Let’s be honest, If I could describe my day today with a song, it would be P!nk’s “Blow me” (one last kiss.)
In other words, my day stunk. I’m talking wake up late, bomb a physics test, worry about an audition, mess up a business order, miss an interview kind of day. And, to cap it all off, I just spent the last 4 hours trying to print an assignment due tomorrow.
So I sit here now, in the only comfortable place I’ve been all day (my bed), wanting to cry (I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t crying a little) from the stress and sheer exhaustion I am under. I feel defeated, I feel stupid, I feel like it’s all my fault that I can’t do anything right-no matter how hard I try.
And yet, as I sit here beating myself up over every little mistake I’ve made today, I feel an all too familiar phrase running through my head on repeat:
Let go, Let God.
As I say this, the tears fall. I am broken, I am caught in my worries- trying to cling to good instead of clinging to Him.
We are writing memoirs in English currently. Today, we had to free write paragraphs about pictures we thought had meaning to us. I chose this picture:
I adore this picture- because I was in paradise, because I was on vacation, but mostly because I look carefree.
So often in life, I (and we) strive to be vacation Allie. We want to be carefree and stress-free SO badly, we yearn for this escape. At least I know I do.
The funny thing is, the more and more we reach for a lack of worries and lack of responsibilities, the further and further into stress we bring ourselves. We think: “I’ll just do this tomorrow because I’m stressed today.” We procrastinate day after day and it only gets worse.
But why is this? Why can’t we just snap our fingers and have every responsibility taken care of?
The answer to this is simply because we are imperfect. We cannot handle these things on our own, we aren’t supposed to.
Matthew 6:27-28 says “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan?” Worrying does not give any reward- only more worry.
Are you worried today? I encourage you- I beg for you to trust in God. His way is good and His plan is perfect. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Call on Jesus and ask for help, He will bring peace and help.